ghost

The ghosts of who I've been and the things I've become. I feel nothing or everything. I hate some things, love some things. This was a year of revelation. My distracted years of youth are past and my eyes have been opened to what they were once blind to. This is the last year of my teens, and I am saying goodbye. But I am saying hello to so much more. Purpose. Dream. Passion. Meaning. Understanding. No longer a chameleon of what people expect from me, I am a collage of the woman who's been hiding. Goodbye 2009, it is good to be rid of you.

Church.

I hate the reality of church.

I hate fake people. Jesus didn't come to teach us how to cover up our faults; He came so we can learn to love, and become more like Him. It's impossible for me to pretend anymore. I spent way too many years trying to be someone everyone could like. Being good, being skinny, being popular. Those are nice things. But not when it's a show.

I have a friend named Fran. She's my hero. She knows where it's at.

This is not a hate letter to the church. It's an invitation. An invitation to a revolution. Wake up and smell the coffee, heaven-bound!

I am also sleep-deprived and buzzed up on caffeine.


Gosh I want to throw a brick at something.