Letters From The TL: Thoughts, Oppression, and Jesus

Sorry I haven't written in a while. To be honest, I haven't really felt like it.

There's a lot of oppression here. And it is very easy to get discouraged if you're not careful, and constantly in the word, or listening to Jesus.

Dehydration, and physical and emotional exhaustion are common among students here. Every time we walk out our door we encounter the sadness of the world. Satan's joys.



*On average, there are 17 arrests in my neighborhood per day. Most to all are drug related.

*The police in the Tenderloin District operate in (I believe) 10 different languages.

*Most of the people on the streets are physically or mentally ill, thrown out on the streets by the government, because they were too poor to pay for professional care.

*My neighborhood constantly smells of marijuana, piss, and body odor. No one has anywhere to use the bathroom, or to properly clean themselves.

*If you walk anywhere, for about two blocks, you will see on average, about 8 drug deals in that short walk.

*Fights break out constantly.

*People are snorting, smoking, shooting or whatever everywhere you look.

*People are falling apart, dirty and lonely.

*There are crack pigeons on our street due to the amount of crack that falls on the sidewalk. The pigeons eat it, thinking it's seed, then become addicted. These crack pigeons are greasy, and fidgety, with bulging eyes and scary personalities.



Sometimes I feel completely hopeless. I feel like I am but one drop in this entire ocean. Is what I'm doing making a difference? Is the simple task of going out onto the streets with my djembe, and singing worship music doing any good work? Am I loving these people with all that is in me? Does God hear the cries of the Tenderloin?



This past weekend I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house in Oakland. The students were given a break, and were able to either go home, or just have a restful weekend to recharge.
Jeremy came to visit, which was such an incredible blessing for me. It was so nice to show him around my neighborhood, and just chill in San Francisco. Take it easy. Laugh. Joke. And talk with my very best friend.

After he left, I went back to my aunt and uncle's house. I felt sick to my stomach, and I couldn't stop crying. I felt alone and helpless. I didn't know if I was really supposed to be here. Or if this was really where God wanted me.

You know that sick feeling you get in your chest that won't go away? That's what I had.



But I took the BART ride back to base, where I was told a few people were coming to pick me up. I felt alone. Sad. Helpless.

When I got off the BART and headed outside, I looked up at the escalator. There were Roman, Carrianne, and Sierra.

"HANNAH!!!" Roman yelled as he ran down, and enveloped me in a huge hug.
"Everyone's been waiting for you!" Sierra said.


I hugged them all, and thanked Jesus for the people He has placed in my life. And as we were walking back to the base, arm-in-arm, I realized that I am exactly where God wants me, and no matter what I face, or how I feel, that He is always there, leading the way.



I went back to my home in the TL, I said hello to my street friends, who protect me from the dangers of this neighborhood. I thanked God he placed me here.



THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT.
BRINGING HOPE TO THE HOPELESS.
GIVING OF YOURSELF FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
GOING INTO THE DARK PLACES AND LOVING THE PEOPLE.

IT'S A LIFESTYLE, NOT A PROFESSION.

Letters from the TL: A Hedge of Protection

Living in the Tenderloin is not only a crazy experience, but it is very much a blessing. Contrary to popular belief, tragedies are very rare in the homeless district; apart from the self-inflicted pain and anguish my neighbors and friends put themselves through. I am in no way disregarding the fact that terrible, terrible things happen in the TL, but most of the homeless protect us (especially us girls), because they are aware of the things that go on in this part of town and find it their responsibility to watch out for us.

However, a few days ago, Satan proved that he is fighting against us in this place.

Tuesday night, as my roommates and I were getting into bed, I had a horrible feeling. It was one of those feelings that surrounds your entire being, captivates your thoughts and messes with your emotions. Apparently I wasn’t the only one in the room who had felt that way. The other girls were uneasy about something as well. Jordyn suggested that we pray together as a room before going to bed. So for about 20 minutes, we took turns praying. We prayed for a hedge of protection around our building and base, and for angels to surround us that night. Carrianne prayed that God would stick our building in a huge bubble. ☺ Afterward, we said our goodnights and fell asleep.

The next morning, as we were coming down for breakfast, everyone’s talking about a crime scene right outside our door. I inquire more. Chris, the cook on staff told me we had to get to the classroom next door through the back because the police have the front of our two buildings taped off. He said word on the street (literally, the street. This is the TL) is that it was a stabbing, but no on knew for sure, and the CIA wouldn’t tell us anything.

Well, after breakfast and work duties, we had worship in the next building downstairs, so we had to go through the back. After worship, Ben, our leader, sat down with us and explained what had happened. A man was indeed stabbed right on our doorstep at about 3 O’clock in the morning. The man who was stabbed passed away, and they would not release his name to us, so we had no clue if we had known him or not. There was also blood red graffiti on our garage door. Which is weird because everyone in the TL really respects the YWAM buildings.

The girls and I were dumbfounded. Stabbings are not a regular occurrence in the TL, and the graffiti was just surprising. We also found out that other people had prayed for the same thing last night, having the same horrible feeling inside. It’s just odd how we got those feelings last night, and then wake up to a crime scene on our doorstep.



Satan is angry, and he is trying to get our attention.




But he has no place here, or with these people. And I’m pretty sure we’ve already proved that God will protect us.


Love All, Serve All, Laugh continuously,
Hannah Elizabeth.