Letters From The TL: Thoughts, Oppression, and Jesus

Sorry I haven't written in a while. To be honest, I haven't really felt like it.

There's a lot of oppression here. And it is very easy to get discouraged if you're not careful, and constantly in the word, or listening to Jesus.

Dehydration, and physical and emotional exhaustion are common among students here. Every time we walk out our door we encounter the sadness of the world. Satan's joys.



*On average, there are 17 arrests in my neighborhood per day. Most to all are drug related.

*The police in the Tenderloin District operate in (I believe) 10 different languages.

*Most of the people on the streets are physically or mentally ill, thrown out on the streets by the government, because they were too poor to pay for professional care.

*My neighborhood constantly smells of marijuana, piss, and body odor. No one has anywhere to use the bathroom, or to properly clean themselves.

*If you walk anywhere, for about two blocks, you will see on average, about 8 drug deals in that short walk.

*Fights break out constantly.

*People are snorting, smoking, shooting or whatever everywhere you look.

*People are falling apart, dirty and lonely.

*There are crack pigeons on our street due to the amount of crack that falls on the sidewalk. The pigeons eat it, thinking it's seed, then become addicted. These crack pigeons are greasy, and fidgety, with bulging eyes and scary personalities.



Sometimes I feel completely hopeless. I feel like I am but one drop in this entire ocean. Is what I'm doing making a difference? Is the simple task of going out onto the streets with my djembe, and singing worship music doing any good work? Am I loving these people with all that is in me? Does God hear the cries of the Tenderloin?



This past weekend I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house in Oakland. The students were given a break, and were able to either go home, or just have a restful weekend to recharge.
Jeremy came to visit, which was such an incredible blessing for me. It was so nice to show him around my neighborhood, and just chill in San Francisco. Take it easy. Laugh. Joke. And talk with my very best friend.

After he left, I went back to my aunt and uncle's house. I felt sick to my stomach, and I couldn't stop crying. I felt alone and helpless. I didn't know if I was really supposed to be here. Or if this was really where God wanted me.

You know that sick feeling you get in your chest that won't go away? That's what I had.



But I took the BART ride back to base, where I was told a few people were coming to pick me up. I felt alone. Sad. Helpless.

When I got off the BART and headed outside, I looked up at the escalator. There were Roman, Carrianne, and Sierra.

"HANNAH!!!" Roman yelled as he ran down, and enveloped me in a huge hug.
"Everyone's been waiting for you!" Sierra said.


I hugged them all, and thanked Jesus for the people He has placed in my life. And as we were walking back to the base, arm-in-arm, I realized that I am exactly where God wants me, and no matter what I face, or how I feel, that He is always there, leading the way.



I went back to my home in the TL, I said hello to my street friends, who protect me from the dangers of this neighborhood. I thanked God he placed me here.



THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ABOUT.
BRINGING HOPE TO THE HOPELESS.
GIVING OF YOURSELF FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD.
GOING INTO THE DARK PLACES AND LOVING THE PEOPLE.

IT'S A LIFESTYLE, NOT A PROFESSION.